Psychotherapy is done within limits -- there's a fee and a session length, for example. These boundaries work to protect and sustain the relationship right from the beginning. It can seem strange that business-type policies set a framework for a relationship that can sometimes feel deeply personal. But by bringing the two together, the businesslike boundaries with the open emotional space, a sacred healing place can emerge. The meeting happens on a sturdy foundation; both people in the room are cared for. The therapist provides a service by listening and focusing on the client, holding space for all parts of them, and by supporting growth over time. And in this relationship, the client can receive all of that care because they've done their part and they know it -- the boundaries are stated and agreed to up front. It's a unique relationship that models making boundaries explicit so the people in the relationship can choose to contract with each other, or not. In our lives, clear boundaries can seem unkind in the short term ("no, you can't stay on my couch") or frustrating ("why can't I stay on your couch?!"), but appropriate boundaries actually do the work of protecting our relationships so they can last over time.
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AuthorVanessa Archives
July 2024
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